I know that I have been missing from the blogger scene for an obscene amount of time but if you are at all familiar with my story, I’m sure you know or understand why. It’s been a long and emotional battle to get back to the mindset to sit here at my laptop and begin sharing my life with you again. Life continues to be an uphill battle but I’m attempting to get to the top, or as close to the top, of it as possible. Thank you all for being a helping hand.
So, to start, I didn’t spend the entire five months crying. Yes, I spent most of it crying but I also believe that a majority of my hiatus was spent growing and learning new things about myself. I learned that I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression. I have also learned that I am strong and capable of beating it and that I absolutely could not have done it without a support system. I’ve learned that I am battling with Simple Hyperplasia, an illness that will likely put my journey of having living children on hold for a while. That has taught me patience. Its given me terrible heartache but it’s taught me that life is unpredictable and you have to adapt to what it throws your way.
I’ve learned that I am a good friend and that I am amazing at having an open ear to anyone that needs it. I have learned that my life experiences have allowed me to provide understanding to others. And, in a way, that makes the events of the past two years somewhat justifiable. It helps me have some sort of understanding of them as well.
I learned that even though I have the desire to travel, I just want to be home. I traveled to Niagara Falls, Toronto and Florida in the past four months alone and I loved every minute of it but it made me appreciate the simplicity of making a cup of your favorite tea in your favorite teacup while your husband plays Overwatch. I learned that I can cook, that I do one heck of a job at homesteading, that I have an eye for design and that I do, in fact, have a personality. That I have talented hands that can make beautiful things. That I am a flipping cat lady.
There, I said it.
But most importantly, I learned how love the hardest I could ever love. I learned how to love living without designer labels. To love this old home because its mine. To love the memory of my son. To love the kinks in my hair. To love my husband more than I thought ever possible. To love a really really good burger joint. To love myself enough to defend myself against individuals that seek to hurt me. To simply love…